foolish mistakes, but whatever, they are all mine.
Mostly-cis, fat ,middle aged, bisexual, disabled, white femme. My hobby is seeing how many years I can add to my collection before I die.

Posting will be random but may contain fat acceptance, wool, and cats, lagomorphs and corvids in no particular order. Posting may also be sporadic as I have ME/CFS and a bunch of other stuff that makes me tired and some times crabby.

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Cunnilingus in the Middle Ages and the Problem of Understanding Past Sex Lives

saxifraga-x-urbium:

Bidet, mate.: PSA

ladyaches:

If you are one of those people that cannot see how fucking problematic “consent is sexy” is, then unfollow me right now. You’re not welcome on this blog anymore.

And since I don’t have time to explain it to you, here are some links, educate yourself.

"Don’t tell me it’s private.  Tiger Beatdown explains it better than I could:

Heterosexuals do announce their sexuality in public, all the time, of course. Walking down the street holding hands, kissing their lover, wearing wedding rings, clothing and other aesthetic codes… In his coming out letter, Cooper notes that he didn’t come out because a reporter’s private life shouldn’t matter. Indeed. But part of the point is, being heterosexual isn’t private – it’s public.

Oh there are some people who think they’re private about their heterosexuality, but they do benefit from a heteronormative culture.  Maybe they’re uncomfortable with anyone else’s display of sexual identity because they don’t really think they have to have one.   never have to think about it.

Pretty much anything that makes a person go “Wow, I never have to think about that” is probably related to some kind of privilege.  A lot of people don’t like the word “privilege,” but I think it’s just a word for not even knowing (or not caring) what you’re taking for granted.

And I can see how people are trying to extend this privilege by saying “I don’t care, it doesn’t matter” in the same way that they don’t care about their own sexuality and think it doesn’t matter.  They’re often well-intentioned, and often not worth quibbling with — we have to pick our battles.

And yes, it’s possibly not directly important to the quality of Frank Ocean’s music whether he’s straight or not…but actually, I could easily see that being out as something other than straight might give him the freedom to address songs to non-heteronormative partners (real or theoretical) or queer subject matter.  Maybe just not having the tension of keeping a secret will allow him to concentrate better on his art.

You can do better than “not care”: you can be happy for us; you can be nice to us, show some interest in us.  We don’t have to “admit” we’re queer like we’re confessing a murder, but if it sounds like we do, you can acknowledge our battles and help us fight them.”


From “What not to say when you find out someone’s queer” by the Bisexual Wombat

  Exhibition: ‘Entre Nous: The Art of Claude Cahun’ at the Art Institute of Chicago « Art Blart
“In many ways, Cahun’s life was marked by a sense of role reversal, and her public identity became a commentary upon not only her own, but the public’s notions of sexuality, gender, beauty, and logic. Her adoption of a sexually ambiguous name, and her androgynous self-portraits display a revolutionary way of thinking and creating, experimenting with her audience’s understanding of photography as a documentation of reality. Her poetry challenged gender roles and attacked the increasingly modern world’s social and economic boundaries…” From Wikepedia

  Exhibition: ‘Entre Nous: The Art of Claude Cahun’ at the Art Institute of Chicago « Art Blart

“In many ways, Cahun’s life was marked by a sense of role reversal, and her public identity became a commentary upon not only her own, but the public’s notions of sexuality, gender, beauty, and logic. Her adoption of a sexually ambiguous name, and her androgynous self-portraits display a revolutionary way of thinking and creating, experimenting with her audience’s understanding of photography as a documentation of reality. Her poetry challenged gender roles and attacked the increasingly modern world’s social and economic boundaries…” From Wikepedia


boysgirlsmusicandfriends:

So this has been coming up on a lot of tags, so here are my two cents because thats what we do here on the internet.

If you don’t find fat people physically attractive THATS OKAY.

If you don’t find skinny people physically attractive THATS OKAY.

If you don’t find people in the middle physically attractive THATS OKAY.

Nobody is telling you what you can and cannot find attractive, just saying that people of one body type or another are not worth less as people because of it.

karapassey:

Why yes someone did make me mad today. 
Don’t fetishize my body type. Don’t dictate how I should feel about myself and how I should present myself to society in order to be deemed fuckable.

karapassey:

Why yes someone did make me mad today. 

Don’t fetishize my body type. Don’t dictate how I should feel about myself and how I should present myself to society in order to be deemed fuckable.

The Monosexual Privilege Checklist

magdolenelives:

No matter what orientation you identify as, you need to read this .A little heavy on the jargon, but it makes some awesome points.

RIOTS NOT DIETS: a letter to potential 'admirers': what does my fat body mean to you?

riotsnotdiets:.

"I think it’s perfectly legitimate to have a sexual preference for fat bodies. If that’s you, cool. Just don’t assume that my body means any one thing in particular. Don’t assume that my fatness predetermines anything about me, or about a potential relationship with me. DO NOT assume that you are doing me any favors by showing interest in me. “

i am fat: Fat Fetish

i—am—fat:

Fat fetishists are always so desperate to hear how happy we are to be fat—and we’re never allowed to have an off day or to feel down or ugly without it being some serious commentary on our “Confidence” level and how sexy we are—and, honestly, it seems to me that that says more about fat fetishists…