foolish mistakes, but whatever, they are all mine.
Mostly-cis, fat ,middle aged, bisexual, disabled, white femme. My hobby is seeing how many years I can add to my collection before I die.

Posting will be random but may contain fat acceptance, wool, and cats, lagomorphs and corvids in no particular order. Posting may also be sporadic as I have ME/CFS and a bunch of other stuff that makes me tired and some times crabby.

All worked by me is under the license below unless otherwise stated. Photos, quotes and work by other people are under license by their creator. If you see your work here and would like it removed from my blog, please contact me.

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 UK: England & Wales License

This blog is not suitable for those under the age of 18 as it discusses and shows depictions of sex, sexuality and other adult themes

 

gendrr:

Trans Pride Brighton 2014

We just got back from our adventures at Trans Pride Brighton. We had a lot of fun, raised around £40 for gendrr (which will shortly be added to our GoFundMe campaign), and handed out rather a lot of flyers and lollipops! Thanks to everyone who was there for your generosity and interest, it was very good to see so many people!

Thanks to Hannah (allyouneedisbees) and Eve (allcurledupgoingnya) with their help handing out flyers and collecting donations, thanks to QueerSoc Sussex, Sussex LGBTQ and LGBrighTon for generously sharing a rather small amount of space with us! We couldn’t have done it without you.

We’ll be posting more about our outings at Trans Pride Brighton soon, but we’re also gearing up to go the Kent & Medway LGBT Picnic under the Rainbow soon and we hope to see more of you lovely people there!

thesmokingspear:

cracked:

Doctors and sex ed class taught you everything you need to know…assuming you like the opposite genitals.
5 Shocking Ways Society Still Doesn’t Understand Gay People

#4. We’re Not Taught How to Take Care of Our Bodies
I know what you’re thinking: “But I hear gay dudes getting warned about the danger of HIV all the time!” Well, think about it — if you’re a sexually active gay teenage boy but haven’t come out to your parents, you have to figure out a way to talk to your doctor about any sex-related health concerns without having a parent in the room. And you absolutely have to do this, because you could freaking die otherwise. Oh, and welcome to the world of routine anal Pap smears, because you’re 17 times more likely to get anal cancer than you would be if that dude you’re banging were a chick.
As for lesbians, sure, we have lower rates of some STDs than our boy-banging pals, but that generally translates into slacking off on the self-care front: Lesbians are 10 times less likely to get a routine Pap test, because they don’t think they can get HPV (the virus that will give you a whole fuckton of cervical cancer) from another woman. But at the same time, four out of five lesbians (including those who have been man-free their whole lives) have HPV.

Read More

Ok this article is perfection but I think this is one of the many things that I love about it:
The public image of the gay man is still a perfectly sculpted slab of muscle-cake, which of course leads to an overabundance of eating disorders, drug addiction, and steroid abuse.

thesmokingspear:

cracked:

Doctors and sex ed class taught you everything you need to know…assuming you like the opposite genitals.

5 Shocking Ways Society Still Doesn’t Understand Gay People

#4. We’re Not Taught How to Take Care of Our Bodies

I know what you’re thinking: “But I hear gay dudes getting warned about the danger of HIV all the time!” Well, think about it — if you’re a sexually active gay teenage boy but haven’t come out to your parents, you have to figure out a way to talk to your doctor about any sex-related health concerns without having a parent in the room. And you absolutely have to do this, because you could freaking die otherwise. Oh, and welcome to the world of routine anal Pap smears, because you’re 17 times more likely to get anal cancer than you would be if that dude you’re banging were a chick.

As for lesbians, sure, we have lower rates of some STDs than our boy-banging pals, but that generally translates into slacking off on the self-care front: Lesbians are 10 times less likely to get a routine Pap test, because they don’t think they can get HPV (the virus that will give you a whole fuckton of cervical cancer) from another woman. But at the same time, four out of five lesbians (including those who have been man-free their whole lives) have HPV.

Read More

Ok this article is perfection but I think this is one of the many things that I love about it:

The public image of the gay man is still a perfectly sculpted slab of muscle-cake, which of course leads to an overabundance of eating disorders, drug addiction, and steroid abuse.

Correct your biphobic misconceptions. Learn the true cost of Bi Erasure and stop identity policing Bisexuals.

qtsatan:

"but my shitty statements about bisexuality and erasure of your identity aren’t actually harmful, biphobia isn’t real or worth discussion"

image

As the lgbtqia+ community is so fond of saying, “educate yourself”. You can find similar information from tons of reliable sources just by browsing google for a few minutes. Now that you have sufficient evidence that bi erasure is actually REALLY BAD, go learn about bisexuality. Correct your biphobic misconceptions and stop telling people they’re “actually pansexual/polysexual/whatever”. If you have EVER tried to tell someone what to identify as, you need to step back and think about how it would make you feel if someone did the same to you.

I’m sick and tired of hearing bullshit about my identity all the time from OTHER LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE. It needs to stop. There’s a B in the acronym for a reason.

(Source: trashgoth)

amoammo:

Trans Pride Brighton are seeking short films by trans filmmakers. Details on suggesting/submitting a film here.

Share widely pls, especially with your trans women filmmaker friends. I’m really frustrated that the LGBT film events I attend never programme work by trans women filmmakers.

Please support if you are in the area!

The Bisexuality = Oppressiveness Equation

bidyke:

This is a very popular form of biphobic rhetoric. Having encountered it in several places during the past week, I figured that formulating it here might be helpful for people.

The bisexuality=oppressiveness equation refers to any argument relying on the presumption that bisexuality is an oppressive identity, or that bi people as a group, occupy oppressor status in relation to nearly every other group.

For example, the “bi is binary" argument relies on this presumption, because it presents bisexuality as an identity that inherently oppresses trans*/nonbinary people, and insinuates that all bi people, as a coherent group, oppress trans*/nonbinary people.

Another such argument is that bi people are privileged over gay and lesbian people, that bi people benefit from heterosexism and patriarchy, and therefore have oppressor status over gays and lesbians.

Another such argument, which has been receiving certain currency in some Israeli communities lately, is that bisexuality - as a term, as an identity, and as a coherent group - is oppressive towards ace people (because it contains the word “sexual”).

The most sophisticated thing about these arguments is that they rely on intersectional political language - that is, they use the “right” terms and the “right” kind of language. Many times that makes it harder to expose - simply because it comes in the form of “calling out” of privilege rather than any the “classical” forms of biphobia that we’re used to encounter. And as intersectional politics instructs: when we’re being called out, we tend to listen.

In light of this, here are a few things that help me pay attention when this is what’s going on:

  • If I notice that bisexuality is mentioned only in a negative context - for example, in my book, I mention several trans* books that only mention bisexuality once in the entire volume - in the context of criticism of “gender essentialist” (or otherwise problematic) identities.
  • If I notice that only bisexuality is criticized about something that many more identities/groups share - for example, as in the broad discourse of “bi is binary”, when binary identities such as straight/gay or even man/woman don’t get even a fraction of the bullshit that bi people get. For example, in my life - the “bi is binary” argument has come up every single time I have spoken to gay/lesbian/queer audiences about bisexuality. In contrast, I have never seen this brought up when gay, lesbian or even cishet people (!) speak to similar audiences.
  • Another good clue is if the person or text in question also echoes other biphobic perceptions, for example that “everyone is bisexual, really”, that “no one is bisexual actually”, that bisexuality is dissmissible/unnecessary as identity, or other attempts to disseminate bisexuality as an identity/group. (This group of arguments often particularly go along with this equation).
  • Another point worth mentioning is the ease in which these arguments are received. Once someone makes the bisexuality=oppressiveness argument, their argument is immediately well received and accepted, whereas the contrasting argument, bisexuality≠oppressiveness, is always encountered with much resistance and negation.

This basically means that we are barred from engaging in meaningful and honest discussions about bisexuality and privilege, or oppressive behaviours within bi communities - because the moment this topic is raised, it is immediately wrapped in so many layers of biphobia, that it becomes impossible to extrapolate the legitimate concerns from the biphobic rhetoric. Indeed, sometimes perfectly legitimate concerns are raised, but are then presented as endemic to bi communities or to bisexuality as a word. This bars bi people from both keeping their bisexual identity and opposing oppressive behaviours (since in order to “truly” oppose oppressive behaviours, we are expected to give up our bi identities). This also means that if we wish to call out the biphobic rhetoric, we are immediately perceived as oppressive.

My advise for anyone using this type of argument is to first recognize that they have used it, and to then separate between legitimate concerns and biphobic accusations (for example: “some bi people and dialogues are cissexist”, vs. “all bi people oppress trans*/nonbinary people because ‘bisexuality’ is an oppressive word”). They should then change their biphobic language, while starting to think and work on their own biphobic biases.

Note that asking people do to this should not be considered as tone policing, since it is not their “angry tone” that is called out, but their oppressive (biphobic) rhetoric.

My advise for anyone encountering this type of argument: call out the biphobia, but don’t forget to be accountable to problematic behaviour in bi communities and dialogues.

Good luck.

P.S.
I can’t believe I typed all of this out on my girlfriend’s tiny keyboard.

diae:

sarahfonseca:

The next time you see someone with jewelry that says “trust no man,” don’t judge them for their “man hating” or “bougie” ways. Rather, commend them for their superb taste in music.

“Trust no man” is actually a reference to a reference to a 1926 song of the same name by Gertrude “Ma” Rainey, a Georgian and African-American pioneer of blues music. 

I want all you women to listen to me

Don’t trust your man no further than your eyes can see

I trusted my man with my best friend

But that was a bad bargain in the end

A feminist before there was really a term for it, Rainey was also notorious for getting into trouble with small-town authorities over her “women-only parties.” She was a brazen lady-lovin’ badass well-worthy of a 21st century signal boost.

Ma Rainey literally had a song Prove it On Me Blues where she pretty much said “I’m a big fat lesbian but you’re never going to catch me and if you dont think thats some of the dopest shit i dont wanna talk to you

Getting Bi in a Gay/Straight World - Now in Spanish!

A pocket-sized guide to coming out and staying out, as distributed to venues across Greater Manchester and beyond including many Pride stalls. Based on our experiences - the collective wisdom of hundreds of hours of BiPhoria!

Now in Spanish!

01

knowhomo:

LGBTQ* Resources and Religious Sites
Graphic Above From:
You Know You’re A Queer Muslim When’s Tumblr
Following Text and Information from StarJack’s LGBTQ* Muslim Informational Site
(note from StarJack: This is a list of Internet / Online resources for Muslims who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, those questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity, and their partners, family, and friends. The point is to make these resources available, so please feel free to make links to this page. To help keep this list as complete and current as possible, please send an e-mail to report updates, defunct links, or new resources! 
Disclaimer: I’ve looked at these sites and assume their bona fides, but really don’t have the means to check them out thoroughly. In some cases caution may be advisable.)
Nation-specific Organizations and Websites: This is a general list including GLBT Muslim groups in countries where Muslims are a minority and GLBT organizations in countries that are predominantly Muslim or have large Muslim minorities. Algeria
Abu Nawas Alouen — in French and Arabic Gay Algerie — in FrenchBosnia &Hercegovina
Udruženje Q
 
Canada
Salaam Canada
Egypt & Sudan
Bedayaa Organization for LGBTQI of the Nile Valley Area (Egypt & Sudan)Europe
Confederation of Associations LGBTQI European and Muslim
 
France
HM2F Homosexuels Musulmans de France
 
Indonesia
GAYa NUSANTARA
Iran
HOMAN 
GLBT Iranians
IRQR Iranian Queer Railroad
Cheraq Iranian Queer online magazine in Persian
Kyrgyzstan
Labrys Kyrgyzstan
Lebanon
HelemMeem — for LBTQ Lebanese WomenBarra magazine Print and online magazine issued in Lebanon
Malaysia
PT Foundation
Maldives
Rainbow Maldives a Facebook group
Mauritius
Gay Mauricien
Morocco
Kif-Kif Communauté des LGBT du Maroc
 www.gaymaroc.net Gay Morocco — in French
Nigeria
Queer Alliance Nigeria
The Initiative for Equal Rights
Youths 2gether NetworkPalestineAswat — Palestinian Gay Women
Al Qaws (a project of the Jerusalem Open House)
Palestinian Queers for Boycott, Divestment, and SanctionsSGC Somali Gay Community, aUK-based website for GLBT Somalis everywhere
South Africa
The Inner Circle
Sudan
Freedom Sudan, the Sudanese LGBT Association
 
Sudan & Egypt
Bedayaa Organization for LGBTQI of the Nile Valley Area (Egypt & Sudan)
Syria
Syrian Same-Sex Society Network
Tanzania
Wezesha
Tunisia
GayDay Magazine The first gay magazine from Tunisia
Turkey
Istanbul LGBTTKAOS GLAYILAR: Bears of TurkeyPembe HayatUnited KingdomImaan

knowhomo:

LGBTQ* Resources and Religious Sites

Graphic Above From:

You Know You’re A Queer Muslim When’s Tumblr

Following Text and Information from StarJack’s LGBTQ* Muslim Informational Site

(note from StarJack: This is a list of Internet / Online resources for Muslims who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, those questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity, and their partners, family, and friends. The point is to make these resources available, so please feel free to make links to this page. To help keep this list as complete and current as possible, please send an e-mail to report updates, defunct links, or new resources! 


Disclaimer: I’ve looked at these sites and assume their bona fides, but really don’t have the means to check them out thoroughly. In some cases caution may be advisable.)

Nation-specific Organizations and Websites: 

This is a general list including GLBT Muslim groups in countries where Muslims are a minority and GLBT organizations in countries that are predominantly Muslim or have large Muslim minorities. 

Algeria

Abu Nawas 
Alouen — in French and Arabic 
Gay Algerie — in FrenchBosnia &Hercegovina

Udruženje Q

 

Canada

Salaam Canada

Egypt & Sudan

Bedayaa Organization for LGBTQI of the Nile Valley Area (Egypt & Sudan)Europe

Confederation of Associations LGBTQI European and Muslim

 

France

HM2F Homosexuels Musulmans de France

 

Indonesia

GAYa NUSANTARA

Iran

HOMAN 

GLBT Iranians

IRQR Iranian Queer Railroad

Cheraq Iranian Queer online magazine in Persian

Kyrgyzstan

Labrys Kyrgyzstan

Lebanon

Helem
Meem — for LBTQ Lebanese Women
Barra magazine Print and online magazine issued in Lebanon

Malaysia

PT Foundation

Maldives

Rainbow Maldives a Facebook group

Mauritius

Gay Mauricien

Morocco

Kif-Kif Communauté des LGBT du Maroc

 
www.gaymaroc.net Gay Morocco — in French

Nigeria

Queer Alliance Nigeria

The Initiative for Equal Rights

Youths 2gether NetworkPalestineAswat — Palestinian Gay Women

Al Qaws (a project of the Jerusalem Open House)

Palestinian Queers for Boycott, Divestment, and SanctionsSGC Somali Gay Community, aUK-based website for GLBT Somalis everywhere

South Africa

The Inner Circle

Sudan

Freedom Sudan, the Sudanese LGBT Association

 

Sudan & Egypt

Bedayaa Organization for LGBTQI of the Nile Valley Area (Egypt & Sudan)

Syria

Syrian Same-Sex Society Network

Tanzania

Wezesha

Tunisia

GayDay Magazine The first gay magazine from Tunisia

Turkey

Istanbul LGBTT
KAOS GL
AYILAR: Bears of Turkey
Pembe HayatUnited KingdomImaan

I refuse to remember you next year. You will still be here. I insist.

I have hands and mind and the will. If need be, I have guns and knives and boots and bricks and I know where to get torches and pitchforks. All of these things I have are for you, because I refuse to remember you next year. You will still be here. I insist.

You are quiet and I have not heard enough from you lately. I hope you are ok. Are they mistreating you? Are you mistreating yourself? I have a comfortable couch and quiet conversation and a glass of brandy and a bowl of soup and a loud laugh. These things too are all for you, because. I insist.