foolish mistakes, but whatever, they are all mine.
Mostly-cis, fat ,middle aged, bisexual, disabled, white femme. My hobby is seeing how many years I can add to my collection before I die.

Posting will be random but may contain fat acceptance, wool, and cats, lagomorphs and corvids in no particular order. Posting may also be sporadic as I have ME/CFS and a bunch of other stuff that makes me tired and some times crabby.

All worked by me is under the license below unless otherwise stated. Photos, quotes and work by other people are under license by their creator. If you see your work here and would like it removed from my blog, please contact me.

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 UK: England & Wales License

This blog is not suitable for those under the age of 18 as it discusses and shows depictions of sex, sexuality and other adult themes

 

partybottom:

your life is worth living even if you’re “not doing anything”

your life is worth living even if you are “letting life pass you by”

your life is worth living even if you stay in bed all day every day watching netflix

you don’t have to be big, beloved, important, beautiful, wealthy or famous

there is dignity in just being

it is ok to be

you merely have to be

internal-acceptance-movement:

HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AFTER A LAPSE
1. Recognize that lapsing is a normal part of recovery. 
I don’t say that to justify lapsing or use as a cop out when things get difficult. I say it as a reminder that your recovery doesn’t have to be perfect in order to produce results. That said, no one’s recovery is perfect. Everyone has set backs and struggles. Everyone makes mistakes, messes up, and reverts to old behaviors — not because they’re weak or incapable, but because recovery is really, really difficult. Your behaviors helped you cope with trauma and incredible emotional pain. They allowed you to numb out and they kept you afloat when you felt like you were drowning. Letting go of something that helped you survive for so long is not easy. And it doesn’t happen over the course of a few days or months. It’s terrifying, painful, incredibly challenging, and it takes time. So be compassionate with yourself and your process. You’re doing the best you can to fight this and recover and it’s all you can ask of yourself. 
2. Use the lapse as a learning experience. 
You can’t go back in time and change the fact that you lapsed, but you can choose how you respond to it. You can wallow in self-pity, beat yourself up, and use what happened as an excuse to continue using behaviors. Or you can choose to use what happened as a learning experience. You can look at the lapse as an opportunity to collect important information about what triggers you to use behaviors and what you need in the moment to avoid a future lapse. 
3. Be curious.
Judging yourself for having a lapse doesn’t get you anywhere. It makes you feel worse and it keeps you stuck. Instead of feeding the cycle of self-hatred, treat yourself with compassionate curiosity and start asking questions:
What need did you have in the moment that wasn’t being met? Were you feeling lonely? Sad? Depressed? Angry? Hurt? Disappointed? Rejected? Invisible? Inadequate? When you turned to behaviors to cope, what were you really looking for? Did you need to feel safe? Did you need a way to express your feelings? Did you need to feel seen and heard? Did you need a distraction? Comfort? Control? How could you have gotten that need met in a non self-destructive way? And how can you take care of yourself in the future when these triggers come up again?
You don’t have to know the answer to all of these questions right now, but it’s important to start exploring and being curious.
4. Treat yourself like you would a friend.
If you had a friend or loved one who lapsed, you wouldn’t put them down. You wouldn’t call them a failure. You wouldn’t see them as worthless. And you wouldn’t discount all the progress they had made. You would treat them with kindness and compassion. You would give them a hug, remind them of how far they’ve come, and reassure them that just because they had one lapse doesn’t mean they can’t turn things around and get back on track. 
Well, you’re not an exception. You deserve to be treated with the same forgiveness and love you would so willingly give to anyone else who was struggling. So when your self-hating thoughts get loud and tell you that you’re a failure for lapsing, challenge them. And if in the moment it’s difficult to be nice to yourself, think of what you would say to someone you care about and apply those positive counters to your own thoughts. 
5. Reach out.
Don’t isolate and withdraw. It may feel safer, but it only perpetuates the pain you feel and keeps you stuck. In order to get back on track, you have to talk about what happened. You have to be honest with yourself and your support network. You have to give yourself permission to ask for help, use your voice, and make your needs known. Keeping secrets keeps us sick. If we want to heal, we have to break the silence. 
6. Get extra support.
If you’re struggling, you deserve to ask for help. Denying yourself extra support when things start going down hill isn’t noble or self-sacrificing. It’s self-destruction, and it’s a sure-fire way to put yourself at risk for another lapse. There is nothing shameful about asking for more help. It doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you a disappointment. And it doesn’t make you a burden. It makes you someone with the courage to be honest and the strength to make recovery a priority. It makes you determined and admirable and brave. It’s self-care and in order to get back on track and heal, it’s imperative. 
7. Focus on progress, not perfection. 
One lapse does NOT discount all of the days you went without using behaviors. It doesn’t make you weak or incapable or inadequate. It doesn’t make you a failure or erase your progress, and it definitely doesn’t mean you can’t get better. All a lapse means is that you were hurting so deeply and didn’t know how else to cope. It was a bad decision, but it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. The lapse was just a bump in your road to recovery, but it doesn’t mean you have to start all over. You’re just continuing your journey right where you left off. So don’t give up. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe, be patient, and trust that as long as you keep pushing forward, reaching out for help, and picking yourself back up, no matter how many times you lapse, you can and will recover.

internal-acceptance-movement:

HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AFTER A LAPSE

1. Recognize that lapsing is a normal part of recovery. 

I don’t say that to justify lapsing or use as a cop out when things get difficult. I say it as a reminder that your recovery doesn’t have to be perfect in order to produce results. That said, no one’s recovery is perfect. Everyone has set backs and struggles. Everyone makes mistakes, messes up, and reverts to old behaviors — not because they’re weak or incapable, but because recovery is really, really difficult. Your behaviors helped you cope with trauma and incredible emotional pain. They allowed you to numb out and they kept you afloat when you felt like you were drowning. Letting go of something that helped you survive for so long is not easy. And it doesn’t happen over the course of a few days or months. It’s terrifying, painful, incredibly challenging, and it takes time. So be compassionate with yourself and your process. You’re doing the best you can to fight this and recover and it’s all you can ask of yourself. 

2. Use the lapse as a learning experience. 

You can’t go back in time and change the fact that you lapsed, but you can choose how you respond to it. You can wallow in self-pity, beat yourself up, and use what happened as an excuse to continue using behaviors. Or you can choose to use what happened as a learning experience. You can look at the lapse as an opportunity to collect important information about what triggers you to use behaviors and what you need in the moment to avoid a future lapse. 

3. Be curious.

Judging yourself for having a lapse doesn’t get you anywhere. It makes you feel worse and it keeps you stuck. Instead of feeding the cycle of self-hatred, treat yourself with compassionate curiosity and start asking questions:

What need did you have in the moment that wasn’t being met? Were you feeling lonely? Sad? Depressed? Angry? Hurt? Disappointed? Rejected? Invisible? Inadequate? When you turned to behaviors to cope, what were you really looking for? Did you need to feel safe? Did you need a way to express your feelings? Did you need to feel seen and heard? Did you need a distraction? Comfort? Control? How could you have gotten that need met in a non self-destructive way? And how can you take care of yourself in the future when these triggers come up again?

You don’t have to know the answer to all of these questions right now, but it’s important to start exploring and being curious.

4. Treat yourself like you would a friend.

If you had a friend or loved one who lapsed, you wouldn’t put them down. You wouldn’t call them a failure. You wouldn’t see them as worthless. And you wouldn’t discount all the progress they had made. You would treat them with kindness and compassion. You would give them a hug, remind them of how far they’ve come, and reassure them that just because they had one lapse doesn’t mean they can’t turn things around and get back on track. 

Well, you’re not an exception. You deserve to be treated with the same forgiveness and love you would so willingly give to anyone else who was struggling. So when your self-hating thoughts get loud and tell you that you’re a failure for lapsing, challenge them. And if in the moment it’s difficult to be nice to yourself, think of what you would say to someone you care about and apply those positive counters to your own thoughts. 

5. Reach out.

Don’t isolate and withdraw. It may feel safer, but it only perpetuates the pain you feel and keeps you stuck. In order to get back on track, you have to talk about what happened. You have to be honest with yourself and your support network. You have to give yourself permission to ask for help, use your voice, and make your needs known. Keeping secrets keeps us sick. If we want to heal, we have to break the silence. 

6. Get extra support.

If you’re struggling, you deserve to ask for help. Denying yourself extra support when things start going down hill isn’t noble or self-sacrificing. It’s self-destruction, and it’s a sure-fire way to put yourself at risk for another lapse. There is nothing shameful about asking for more help. It doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you a disappointment. And it doesn’t make you a burden. It makes you someone with the courage to be honest and the strength to make recovery a priority. It makes you determined and admirable and brave. It’s self-care and in order to get back on track and heal, it’s imperative

7. Focus on progress, not perfection. 

One lapse does NOT discount all of the days you went without using behaviors. It doesn’t make you weak or incapable or inadequate. It doesn’t make you a failure or erase your progress, and it definitely doesn’t mean you can’t get better. All a lapse means is that you were hurting so deeply and didn’t know how else to cope. It was a bad decision, but it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. The lapse was just a bump in your road to recovery, but it doesn’t mean you have to start all over. You’re just continuing your journey right where you left off. So don’t give up. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe, be patient, and trust that as long as you keep pushing forward, reaching out for help, and picking yourself back up, no matter how many times you lapse, you can and will recover.

bheidh:

a reality check that’s a blow to the solar plexis

SEE ALSO: why i’m crumbling under the weight of prolonged loneliness for fear of letting anyone in again & repeating this

[via]

http://alegbra.tumblr.com/post/86324422134/a-few-quick-reminders-that-thing-you-did-that

alegbra:

a few quick reminders:

- that thing you did that was kind of embarrassing and weird, everyone else forgot about that already

- you look fine today, if you can’t notice something on your face standing 6 feet from a mirror then nobody else will either

- if something is out of your control, do not let yourself or anyone else expect you to deal with it alone

- social lives can go through cycles sometimes, if you feel like your friends are all ignoring you for no reason they’re probably just busy with other things

- if you can’t stop thinking about someone or something, find something mentally occupying to do like reading a book or watching a movie. it won’t solve any serious problems but you will feel better

- nothing will always be easy, if you’re trying then that should be good enough for anyone. if it’s not then you’re talking with the wrong people

- never underestimate the importance of going to bed, if it’s dark outside and you feel bad just go to bed and deal with your problems the next day

(Source: jockbf)

Want Real Information About Psychiatric Drugs? Visit CrazyMeds

aka14kgold:

tehjennismightier:

nomorepuzzleprofits:

Welcome to Crazymeds, where you can learn what’s good, what’s bad, what’s interesting, and what’s plain weird and funny about the medications used to treat depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, epilepsy, migraines, anxiety, neuropathic pain, or whatever psychiatric and/or neurological condition you might have. The information on this site is to help you work with your doctor(s) to find the right treatment options. Too many of us get nothing more than 15-minute appointments with overworked doctors or nurse-practitioners, so we need all the help we can get. We need to talk to our prescribers about the best medication1 to treat our conditions, and not the most profitable ones, or the cheapest ones2.

OK, in reality “best” usually translates to “least bad.” If you know the name of the medication(s) you’re looking for, you’ll probably want our list of drugs by names and class/category. There’s also our much larger list of all the meds we know about to treat various conditions, including all the brand/trade names we can find for every med in every country in which each is available. We also have the drugs sorted into broad categories with lots of overlapping memberships:

Crazymeds is the site for the obsessed and depressed, the manic and the panicked, the schizophrenic and epileptic, the migraineurs and bipolar, those with GAD, SAD, OCD, PTSD, in pain or have an otherwise non-standard brain4. If you have any specific questions about a drug that wasn’t answered on its page, couldn’t find the drug you’re interested in, or want some help in figuring out which medication is the right one for you, then visit Crazy Talk: Our forum for the mentally interesting. We aren’t doctors or anything, and we don’t diagnose, but we have more experience than we ever wanted when it comes to brain cooties and the crazy meds used to treat them. We’re all about helping each other know what the drugs can and cannot do, what they are likely to do for us and to us, and work with our doctors to make the best, or least bad, choice in medication(s) as quickly as possible.

For real, CrazyMeds is one of the most helpful plain-english information sites regarding psychiatric / neurological drugs and what exactly they DO to your brain. If you’ve ever felt like a human lab experiment just being handed one prescription after another, CrazyMeds can help you understand what effects the drugs have and how they work. The site also discusses realistic side-effects such as the ever-present “head zaps” of SSRIs and others that doctors keep saying we make up for attention.

Also it’s fun to read if you’re a writer and just want to learn about drugs with long names and what they do.

Reblogging to promote CrazyMeds. I’ve found it incredibly helpful.

And for anyone who might be inclined to get all OH NOES SELF DIAGNOSIS!!1!1!, my neurologist—who is a bit of a bigwig in the field, straight-up brilliant, and one of the best doctors I could ever hope for—regularly refers patients to CrazyMeds when they’re dealing with new conditions and drugs and side effects and the like.

(Source: )

P.S. Just a reminder: Grief is not a one-time thing for people with chronic health problems. Just like people grieving the loss of a loved one find the sadness washes over them at holidays or family events or even unexpected everyday moments, we who are grieving the loss of ourselves, or our former lives, will find the feelings come at random—When someone mentions an activity we used to love, or even something as simple as spilling a glass of milk, or not being able to find our keys. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It means you’re human. And it’s okay.

Sick and Tired: Empathy, Encouragement, and Practical help for Those Suffering from Chronic Health Problems by Kimberly Rae (via brittieslifeasiknowit)

Most days I’m totally okay and then something small hits me and I remember, right. I’m not normal. And I don’t get to be. And while most of the time, I’d prefer to be the unique one, every once in a while, all I want to be is the one that blends into the crowd and lives the life of everyone else.

(via dailylifewithchronicillness)

summersaysso:

A friend of mine who’s a wheelchair user ran across this video on how to choose a manual chair and said it was a pretty good one.  Sharing in case it’s useful to anyone. :)

fixyourwritinghabits:

creativesocialworker:

Social Worker Tumblrs
Creative Clinical Social Worker
Social Workin’
It Will All Make Sense
The Political Social Worker
Social Work Tech
Social Work Helper
Radical Social Worker
Social Work Memes
Social Werq
Unemployed Social Worker
Student Social Worker
Products of Poverty
SWK 4 Life
What Should We Call Social Work?
School Meet Life
Canadian Social Worker
Joylisamia
Social Justice Solutions
Life as a Social Worker
ACSWA Clinical Social Work
Social Worky Megan
Lauren LCSW
Miss Joan
Heirloom June
The Notorious Amy
The Social Work Network
Social Worker Taking on the World
Social Work Grad Students
Social Work Wisdom
Social Work Sad
School Social Worker Blog
Social Work Psych Stuff
Alison Rae
What Even Is Social Justice?
Chris Talks Social Work Stuff
Southernish
Social Work Bridges
Social Work Wanderer 
Social Workers Online
Tito Tito
Hand Knit By a Failed Feminist
The Social Work Exam
The Running Vegan MSW
Social Worky
Social Work Musings
Geeky Therapist
Connect The Dots Backwards
Other Side of the Couch
Steven Armijo
Social Work, Psych and Counseling
All Things Social
June on the West Coast
Chasing Thunder
Social Work Problems
Ramp Your Voice
Onewomanareme
Jehovahs Thicknesss
Aspie Social Worker
Social Justice Works
Crasstun
Therapist Tumblrs
Creative Clinical Social Worker
The Humbled Therapist
Therapy 101
It Will All Make Sense
Trauma Therapist
What Should We Call Art Therapy?
Connect The Dots Backwards
Passionate Therapist
Therapist Confessions
Tenacious Twenties
Kati Morton
PsyD or Bust
Twin Therapists
So This is Expressive Therapies
Therapist in Therapy
The Angry Therapist
Doctor School Problems
Psychologist Problems
Keep Calm And Psychoanalyze
She Wants the PsyD
Other Side of the Couch
Secrets of a Sarcastic Psychologist
Confessions of a Broke Grad Student
Geeky Therapist
So You’re a Music Therapist
Thrive Music Therapy
Fuck Yeah Therapizing
Misses Torrance
Art Journaling
Therapist at Play
Creative Arts Therapy Rocks
Psychotherapy
Lowery Makes Art
Serious Mental Illness Blog
Psychological Musings
Cognitive Defusion
Chameleon Play Therapy
LaraMaurinoTherapy
Training-Psychologist
Heirloom June
Counseling Inside and Outside
Psych Jim
Mindful Irreverence
The Medicated Therapist
What Should We Call MFT
Therapy Bros
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Creative Psychologist
Psychology Tumblrs
Real Psycho
Cognitive Defusion
Science of EDs
Counseling Blog
Psych Majors
Mental Health Resource
Recovery and Mental Health
Psych Health
Tidbits of the Mind
Psychology Humor
Mental Health Reform
The Psychology Blog
Behaviourist at Play
Recovery/Support Tumblrs
List of Recovery/Psych/Mental Health/Inspiration Blogs 
Mental Health Tumblr Directory
Mental Illness Tumblr Directory
List of 50+ Mental Health “Advice Animals” Tumblrs
List of Safe Space Tumblrs
Mental Health Advice
Psych Student In Therapy
Establishing a New Normal
Recovery Awareness
Mental Illness Mouse
My Recovery is a Choice
Believe In Recovery
Confessions of Counseling
Illness to Recovery
Pantelina
We Hug The Internet
Self Care After Rape
The Blogs The Thing
Zen Recovery
Reblogging in honor of the last day of Social Work Month.  These arent ranked in any particular order so check them all out.  If I missed you just let me know!

yo I’m reblogging this because it can seriously help folks out, definitely a list worth keeping.

fixyourwritinghabits:

creativesocialworker:

Social Worker Tumblrs

Therapist Tumblrs

Psychology Tumblrs

Recovery/Support Tumblrs

Reblogging in honor of the last day of Social Work Month.  These arent ranked in any particular order so check them all out.  If I missed you just let me know!

yo I’m reblogging this because it can seriously help folks out, definitely a list worth keeping.

thisbridgecalledmyblog:

teaseon:

ultrafacts:

For more posts like this, follow the Ultrafacts Blog!

The whole compiled list of useful links. More is to come! Follow today!

Here’s more!

Here’s more!

lovelycharts.com – create flowcharts, network diagrams, sitemaps, etc.
e.ggtimer.com – a simple online timer for your daily needs.
coralcdn.org – if a site is down due to heavy traffic, try accessing it through coral CDN.
random.org – pick random numbers, flip coins, and more.
google.com/webfonts – a good collection of open source fonts.
homestyler.com – design from scratch or re-model your home in 3d.
join.me – share you screen with anyone over the web.
wetransfer.com – for sharing really big files online.
hundredzeros.com – the site lets you download free Kindle books.
polishmywriting.com – check your writing for spelling or grammatical errors.
marker.to – easily highlight the important parts of a web page for sharing.
whichdateworks.com – planning an event? find a date that works for all.
everytimezone.com – a less confusing view of the world time zones.
gtmetrix.com – the perfect tool for measuring your site performance online.
noteflight.com – print music sheets, write your own music online (review).
imo.im – chat with your buddies on Skype, Facebook, Google Talk, etc. from one place.
translate.google.com – translate web pages, PDFs and Office documents.
kleki.com – create paintings and sketches with a wide variety of brushes.
similarsites.com – discover new sites that are similar to what you like already.
wordle.net – quick summarize long pieces of text with tag clouds.
bubbl.us – create mind-maps, brainstorm ideas in the browser.
kuler.adobe.com – get color ideas, also extract colors from photographs.
ge.tt – qiuckly send a file to someone, they can even preview it before downloading.
tinychat.com – setup a private chat room in micro-seconds.
privnote.com – create text notes that will self-destruct after being read.
draw.io – create diagrams and flowcharts in the browser, export your drawings to Google Drive and Dropbox.
downforeveryoneorjustme.com – find if your favorite website is offline or not?
urbandictionary.com – find definitions of slangs and informal words.
scribblemaps.com – create custom Google Maps easily.
formspring.me – you can ask or answer personal questions here.
sumopaint.com – an excellent layer-based online image editor.
snopes.com – find if that email offer you received is real or just another scam.
typingweb.com – master touch-typing with these practice sessions.
mailvu.com – send video emails to anyone using your web cam.
timerime.com – create timelines with audio, video and images.
stupeflix.com – make a movie out of your images, audio and video clips.safeweb.norton.com – check the trust level of any website.

For more posts like this, follow the Ultrafacts Blog!

LETS GET THIS TO 1,000,000 NOTES! Reblog this because everyone NEEDS this!

IF THIS SHIT DONT WORK IM COMING FOR SOMEBODY

wheeliewifee:

calmingmanatee:

[Image description: A photograph of a manatee in open ocean, their tail just touching the sea floor and and looking to the side of the camera. TEXT: “It is okay to feel what you are feeling.”]

[it’s okay to feel what you are feeling]

wheeliewifee:

calmingmanatee:

[Image description: A photograph of a manatee in open ocean, their tail just touching the sea floor and and looking to the side of the camera. TEXT: “It is okay to feel what you are feeling.”]

[it’s okay to feel what you are feeling]

animedavidbowie:

unrecognizedpotential:

forgottenawesome:

Do You Love Someone With Depression?
If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm  environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.
3.Get them outside.
 The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here.  For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.
(via The Darling Bakers)

More people need to know this.

This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.

animedavidbowie:

unrecognizedpotential:

forgottenawesome:

Do You Love Someone With Depression?

If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.

Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.

1. Help them keep clutter at bay.

When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm  environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)

2. Fix them a healthy meal.

Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.

3.Get them outside.

 The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here.  For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.

4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.

If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.

5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.

Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.

6. Hug them.

Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.

7. Laugh with them.

Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.

8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.

Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.

9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.

A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”

10.Remind them why you love them.

Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.

(via The Darling Bakers)

More people need to know this.

This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.