foolish mistakes, but whatever, they are all mine.
Mostly-cis, fat ,middle aged, bisexual, disabled, white femme. My hobby is seeing how many years I can add to my collection before I die.

Posting will be random but may contain fat acceptance, wool, and cats, lagomorphs and corvids in no particular order. Posting may also be sporadic as I have ME/CFS and a bunch of other stuff that makes me tired and some times crabby.

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I deserve to exist.

My body is valid.

I think it to myself or say it quietly under my breath like a prayer.

I say it sharply coupled with a “fuck you” at strangers snickering at me on the bus or on the Internet.

On really difficult days when I think my body is a worthless sack of shit (there are those days; there are rough days in any relationship), I force myself to admit that I’m worthy.

I stand in front of the mirror and look at my body and say it aloud until I believe it.

Read the rest of my piece here

The Deadly War on Obesity

"The truth is inescapable:  fat people are being shamed, stigmatized, oppressed and scapegoated for profit and political cover.

For the record:

No, fat people are NOT the reason that healthcare costs have gone up.

No, there is no argument to be made about how fat people are costing you tax dollars.

Yes, it’s okay to be fat – no, other people’s bodies are not your business

Yes, the fashion industry, the media and the internet are part of the problem but all three of those are funded by our time, money and energy so ending this war starts with us and it’s not hard to participate.”

 Dances with Fat -The Deadly War on Obesity

  Make-up tips for the morning after (trigger warning domestic violence) - Blog - The F-Word

Refuge explained that,

"Lauren Luke has a huge online following of teenage girls and young women. Research shows that abuse in teenage relationships is alarmingly common, and Refuge believes that much more work needs to be done to reach this group and educate them about domestic violence. A survey undertaken by Refuge and YouGov in 2009 revealed that over half of young women aged 18-21 had experienced at least one abusive incident from a boyfriend, husband or partner. Despite this, only 41% said that they would know where to go for help if they experienced domestic violence".

Campaigners on sexual violence accuse Olympic organisers of ignoring issue | Life and style | The Guardian

Oh look, people ignoring domestic and sexual violence, how surprising! Also - why the hell is this in the ‘womens blog’ in the Lifestyle section?

It would be too broad to say that men hate women, men are afraid of women, men desire power over women–though there are certainly men of whom all these things are true, there are many more men of whom none of these things are true. Yet there’s the malice. Creeping and ugly and everywhere, as though it has a life of its own. In the developing world it tends to take a very frank, graphic form: acid attacks, rape as a tool of war, sex-selective abortion, female infanticide, chronic neglect of girls. (The latter three are becoming so prevalent that they have skewed the global gender balance. By a slim margin, despite the natural tendency of women to outlive men, there are now more men in the world than women.)

Yet the malice in the developed world is no less ominous for being rationalized and rich and dressed-up. Though no one would ever think of using the term honor violence (we reserve that descriptor for brown people who live somewhere else, motivated by religious something-or-other or tribal something-or-other), one-third of women murdered every year in the United States are killed by their intimate partners. In 2005 that amounted to 1,181 women, or three women every day. To put that in perspective, the UN estimates there are 5,000 honor killings every year in the entire world. 5,000 in a world of 6 billion versus nearly 1,200 in a single country of 300 million. In other words, a woman in America runs a greater risk of being killed by her husband or boyfriend than a woman in Pakistan. Those are scary numbers.

backhanded compliments were never my thing


there is this way
texan women 
raise each other up

rule number one
do not break
if you decide you must break
do it in the shower
when no one is home
let the stinging
circle your heart
while you let the tears
mingle down the drain
where they belong

rule number two
always be perfect
never burn your food
never look poor
hemlines must always be straight
make up must be on
every day
all days
do not frown
frowning causes wrinkles
do not argue with a man
arguing causes black eyes
if you do get a black eye
learn how to cover it with
make up
alibis from girlfriends

rule number three
never let the neighbors hear
don’t cry in the garden at night
while mamaw is sipping a long neck
do not implore to be heard
when the neighbors are next door
with their lights on
pressed against their nicotine stained walls

rule number four
never talk about it
let sleeping dogs lie
even the curs that bite
little girl legs
and swallow chunks
of teenage hearts
keep it a secret
locked away in a swallowed locket
given to you by a stranger
who called themselves your mother
guard family secrets
and always be sweet
and willing

rule number five
keep your chin up
always behave as if everything is perfect
don’t every utter anything true
be gracious and go to church
laugh gaily and twitter around
like an unbroken sparrow
with golden vocal chords
wear the family crest on your chest
weld it there if you must
but be the spokesmodel
be the lie

rule number six
backstab your best friend
throw her under a ghost bus
never let her think she’s safe
promise her everything
and bless her heart behind her back
twine your fingers in her hair at night
with your left hand
and cut it off
with your right hand
while she sleeps

rule number seven
always choose a husband just like your father
make him mean and surly
let him run your house
your heart in the bottom of his bottle
always praise him to anyone
hold on tight lest he be gone
finding some other younger version
of your dreams
twining around his rough neck

rule number eight
don’t ever be brown
have the blondest hair possible
be the most slender reed in the pond
use any measure you can
to be seen as pale
don’t be biracial
drums kept under the bed
the history of the feathers
let them float from your hands
they’re filthy anyway

rule number nine
never leave texas
don’t steal away in the night
suitcase and a fistful of photos
stockings in a run
tears in a well in your bra
make up a bygone
don’t move so far
the sun doesn’t even come there
don’t make a new life
new friends
don’t find joy
don’t open up
don’t admit it was wrong
don’t learn to love
don’t be brave
don’t you dare

Black Feminists are organising a demonstration outside the Swedish Embassy next Tuesday, 1 May, in response to the Minister of Culture’s engagement with the racist “FGM cake” artwork that caused outrage last week:

We are protesting to stop the abusive racially charged characterisations of black women, to empower black women as they defend themselves against racist and stereotypical imagery, to improve race relations in the African diaspora as well as on the continent, to raise cultural competence and sensitivity to issues pertaining to Africa and African cultures, to enhance understanding and views of African people as human beings with dignity and pride. We want a robust review and implementation of anti-racist policies that impact the lives of African Swedes and those from African Diaspora communities in Europe and Internationally.