foolish mistakes, but whatever, they are all mine.
Mostly-cis, fat ,middle aged, bisexual, disabled, white femme. My hobby is seeing how many years I can add to my collection before I die.

Posting will be random but may contain fat acceptance, wool, and cats, lagomorphs and corvids in no particular order. Posting may also be sporadic as I have ME/CFS and a bunch of other stuff that makes me tired and some times crabby.

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tessmunster:

I am enough. Like it or not. I don’t “promote obesity” I promote loving yourself regardless of your exterior. Sometimes people are so busy focused on the fact that I am “fat, curvy, plus size” that they don’t even listen to what I am saying. I also get people who say I am “fake” or that I don’t live what I preach & to those I say KISS my bootay. I have stepped out of my comfort zone so much in the past years while I discover who I am & find my confidence. The ones pointing the fingers probably wouldnt dare do half of the things I have done. However even though they are so quick to judge me or make assumptions, I keep doing ME in hopes that one day they will realize that they can love the skin they are in without feeling the need to tear others down. I never claimed to have all the answers or be the Mother Teresa of the body positive movement, but I do know that life is so much better when you embrace who you are & stop caring what everyone around you is doing. #effyourbeautystandards

tessmunster:

I am enough. Like it or not. I don’t “promote obesity” I promote loving yourself regardless of your exterior. Sometimes people are so busy focused on the fact that I am “fat, curvy, plus size” that they don’t even listen to what I am saying. I also get people who say I am “fake” or that I don’t live what I preach & to those I say KISS my bootay. I have stepped out of my comfort zone so much in the past years while I discover who I am & find my confidence. The ones pointing the fingers probably wouldnt dare do half of the things I have done. However even though they are so quick to judge me or make assumptions, I keep doing ME in hopes that one day they will realize that they can love the skin they are in without feeling the need to tear others down. I never claimed to have all the answers or be the Mother Teresa of the body positive movement, but I do know that life is so much better when you embrace who you are & stop caring what everyone around you is doing. #effyourbeautystandards

The world is not full of Attractive People and Unattractive People. It’s full of people who are attractive to some and not to others. I hear from trolls all the time who complain that they don’t want to be “forced” to find nasty, ugly fat women attractive–which utterly baffles me, since the last thing I want to do is encourage fat-hating dicks to date fat women. You don’t find fat people attractive? Fabulous. Don’t date them. I will find a way to pick myself up and move on without your love. But to assume your lack of sexual interest in fat chicks must be universal–or that the mere existence of self-confident fat people having healthy relationships somehow “forces” you to find fat attractive–is the height of fucking narcissism.

— Kate Harding (via bunnicula)

(similarly there is no such thing as being “good at sex”, you’re good at learning, adapting, and communicating, because there isn’t a fucking gold standard of sexual behaviour that works for everyone)

I continue to be baffled at just how difficult this idea seems to so many people.  I am so not interested in trying to force you to find me attractive, so can you please all just move on ?

(Source: plantaplanta)

Why Desi Totkay?

mehreenkasana:

desitotkay:

  • Because white standards of beauty kill the confidence in the majority of girls and women of color every single day of their lives. They are raised with the very idea that they are inferior, they are ugly.
  • Because white standards of beauty are not something new; they’re not even Western completely. Consider the history of South Asia and its perpetual battle with imperialism and you’ll find those supporting “pure Aryan race” advocating fairness as a standard of beauty.
  • Because Desi men and women and other men and women of color are constantly told through thousands and thousands of commercials, literature, drama series, “success” stories that only fair skin will guarantee them acceptance, progress and love.
  • Because no child of color deserves to have their skin bleached and whitened so that they won’t be bullied when they grow up.
  • Because brown is beautiful. Black is beautiful. Yellow is beautiful.
  • Because telling women of color to whiten their vagina to seem more “sexually appealing” is shamelessly telling a woman of color her body is unacceptable in its natural color.
  • Because it is heartbreaking to tell a brown or black child that they need to apply Fair ‘n’ Lovely thrice a day to look lighter and nicer. Burn that shit right now.
  • Because no woman of color should ever feel dirty for being dark. That her beauty lies in what she was born with. That no racist prick can tell her she’s ugly.
  • Because it hurts to see young women of color lighten their pictures to look cuter, more beautiful, to have people tell them “they’re hot.”
  • Because I am completely done with shadeism.

And it’s up.

(Source: )

redefiningbodyimage:

iamdrawberry:


I need feminism because I am tired of having my body fetishized by ‘chubby chasers’ or loathed by sexual materialists who believe a woman’s worth is dependent on her aesthetic conformity to an externally determined standard.

By Snail
(source)

FUCK
YES
TO ALL OF THIS
there are so many good words on that paper and fabulous beauty in this photo, i can’t even…

redefiningbodyimage:

iamdrawberry:

I need feminism because I am tired of having my body fetishized by ‘chubby chasers’ or loathed by sexual materialists who believe a woman’s worth is dependent on her aesthetic conformity to an externally determined standard.

By Snail

FUCK

YES

TO ALL OF THIS

there are so many good words on that paper and fabulous beauty in this photo, i can’t even…

(Source: facebook.com)

There are a lot of things that studies really do show help you live longer. Drinking a glass of red wine a day. Drinking multiple cups of coffee a day. Eating a little dark chocolate every day. No one yells or moralizes at people who don’t partake of wine or coffee or chocolate. Doctors don’t berate people for not having those things. Nobody wants to take away health care for people who don’t do those things. Nobody discriminated against people who don’t do those things. And if you asked people who do yell at fatties why they don’t yell at people who don’t do those things, they’d probably hem and haw and say something about “not their business” and “it’s their choice,” or something. Because, again, the health excuse is a lie. Not drinking wine or coffee, not eating chocolate, these aren’t considered to be morally bad things in our society. Being fat is. So even though being fat is provably not a choice for the vast majority of people, and not partaking of wine, coffee, and chocolate is a choice for the vast majority of people, being fat means people get to tell you how horrible you are for not doing everything in your power to live longer, but not having wine, coffee, or chocolate doesn’t.

My hands are still shaking angrily a little as I write this, dear reader. But I hope that you will read my brief story and share it with others, to perhaps inspire more beautiful women to stand up to fat shaming.

I was at the grocery store tonight, and a woman in front of me, after commenting on my selection of granola bars, turned around and offered me her card, telling me that she was a personal trainer and I could call her any time. This small, but presumptuous action implies that she 1) thinks I’m fat, 2) is outwardly telling me I’m fat, 3) thinks there is something wrong with my body that should be fixed 4) assumes that I don’t take care of my body or work out/already have a personal trainer, and 5) that she would be “willing” to be the one to fix my body. Really? I mean— REALLY? I’m a teacher, so does that mean every time I meet someone stupid I can hand them my card and offer them an education to fix their mind?

I politely took the card without a word. Then, my forehead started burning, and I felt the anger and sadly, the shame, come rushing, blood red, to the front of my face. I didn’t say a word, but as I walked out of the store, bags in hand, I fumbled to find the card she had given me and called the number on the phone. Straight to voicemail. But I left a message:

“My name is Sarah and I just met you at the grocery store. Thanks for your card, but I’m going to politely decline. Instead, I want to give you some constructive feedback. Offering me personal training when you don’t even know me is offensive and implies there’s something wrong with my body. I want you to understand that just because my body doesn’t look like how YOU think it should look, doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with it or that you have the right to judge my body or offer me ways to ‘fix’ myself. It’s offensive and presumptuous to assume that I need or want personal training, and although it might be hard for you to understand, I actually am quite happy with the way my body looks. Just because I’m not a size 4, doesn’t mean I’m not beautiful, and doesn’t mean I’m not healthy or content with the way I am. I wish you all the best with your personal training career, and I hope this feedback is helpful for you.” *Click*

I’m learning to love my body and I won’t let someone shame me into feeling like there’s something wrong with it. Those kinds of remarks trigger so many emotions in me— shame, anger, rage, sadness, defeat. But I won’t let someone shame me anymore. It took a lot of courage to call her, but I’m glad I did, and I hope that she won’t continue shaming others because they don’t fit her cookie cutter model of what beautiful is. Please share/reblog my small story with others so that we can be reminded that we are beautiful and together, we can stand up against fat shaming. I never would have or could have done this without the inspiration of the beautiful fatshionable women of the blogosphere. Thank you to all of you who continue blogging. You inspire me to love my self, and to stand up for what’s right.

Sarah (Ze Zaftig) - “Standing Up To Fat Shaming” (via surlytemple)

The real reason that you find it necessary to compare yourself to others is that you’ve fallen under the spell that says that good things are always scarce. The scarcity model says that if the person that you’re comparing yourself to is (arguably) prettier than you, then that person has grabbed up too much of that thing called pretty and now there’s less for you. Same thing goes for fame or money or talent or intellect — the belief that those things are scarce makes us compare ourselves to others in terms of how much of those things we have versus what they have. When we lose this comparison battle we feel bad, jealous, envious, and less than whole. When we win the comparison battle we feel a bit of satisfaction mixed with an underlying fear that we may have won this battle, but what if things change and we lose out next time?

The key is to reconnect with your sense of abundance. For example, if you feel like everyone is more beautiful than you, start to look for beauty everywhere, particularly in people whom you might not normally think of as beautiful. You may find it easier to then see that beauty in yourself.

Via: Why You Should Stop Comparing Yourself To Others (And How To Do It) by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.

I’m interested in the idea of fat people as objects of fascination. We are objects of fascination in medicine, and in research. I hadn’t been able to articulate it until now but we are also photographic objects of fascination. Headless fatties make this clear. And being an object of fascination brings with it forms of symbolic violence; we are dehumanised and belittled in that gaze. Perhaps the quality of the fascination in each field varies, but it’s a fascination nevertheless, people really want to look at us, especially when they are sure that we won’t stare back or look at them.

Charlotte Cooper, “I Got Fat-Papped for the Daily Mail” (via adrowningwoman)

ohthewaywardwind:

A post on being fat, by an actual FAT GIRL (Meghan Tonjes, singer/songwriter and creator of Project Lifesize.) Super worth watching and reblogging. If Laci Green got like a billion reblogs, I think you can do this one. xo

A little 101 – I get to exist. | The Fat Nutritionist

"Fat people exist. We have existed. We will continue to exist. So to say that it’s not acceptable to be fatis to deny our right to exist.

Weight is not a behaviour; it is a physical trait. You don’t get to decide that people with certain physical traits don’t get to exist, no matter how distasteful you may find them.

And despite popular belief, you cannot presume to know a person’s behaviour based solely on their weight.

If you are fat and you don’t want to be, that’s fine with me. Do your thing — I’m not going to stop you.

But you do not get a say in my right to exist as I am, or to treat my body the way I think is best.”

I Renounce Thee, Fashion Snarking | xoJane

I will wear leggings as trousers/pants, even if it causes you physical pain…which if it does, you have issues, big, big issues. Get help.