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(Reblogged from oppressionisyucky)
[general trigger warning: child sexual abuse and rape]
Sometimes I am a survivor, and other times I am a victim. I’m here, and I am a victim of child sexual abuse and rape. Well, so what? Maybe that makes some people feel uncomfortable, that we are going around and (gasp) existing as people-who-survive and people-who-are-victims. But when I draw attention to my situation, I am claiming my right to exist in this world as a full and complex person, with all of the wants and needs therein. So labeling myself as a victim is not something horrible; it’s realistic. Yes, I was a victim of child sexual abuse and rape. And yes, it has all affected me in significant ways. That is a fact.
If I can’t acknowledge this, the fact that I have been and sometimes still am a victim, I create unrealistic standards for myself. I make myself believe that I must always be strong, that I must always be the Survivor with a capital S; always powerful, always laughing and never crying. I tell myself that I must always be tough and unflinching in the face of fear, in the face of a kind of death that reaches beyond the body and into the heart.
Sometimes I am a survivor, and other times I am a victim. I’m here, and I am a victim of child sexual abuse and rape. Well, so what? Maybe that makes some people feel uncomfortable, that we are going around and (gasp) existing as people-who-survive and people-who-are-victims. But when I draw attention to my situation, I am claiming my right to exist in this world as a full and complex person, with all of the wants and needs therein. So labeling myself as a victim is not something horrible; it’s realistic. Yes, I was a victim of child sexual abuse and rape. And yes, it has all affected me in significant ways. That is a fact.
If I can’t acknowledge this, the fact that I have been and sometimes still am a victim, I create unrealistic standards for myself. I make myself believe that I must always be strong, that I must always be the Survivor with a capital S; always powerful, always laughing and never crying. I tell myself that I must always be tough and unflinching in the face of fear, in the face of a kind of death that reaches beyond the body and into the heart.
More Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids: Reason #97: The right to be a victim
I know it is a faux pas to repost your own content, but i was rereading this and it really got to me. How did I even write that last line? It makes me tear up every time I read that paragraph because it feels so right and true to me. It’s just…so utterly unbelievable that something like that even came out of me.
Thank you, Audre Lorde, for giving me the inspiration to write like this.
(via fromonesurvivortoanother)
